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GUIDE: 5x05 Lucky Thirteen

Writers: Sara Hess & Liz Friedman
Director: Greg Yaitanes
Original Airdate: Oct. 21, 2008

Thirteen brings her one-night stand to the hospital after the woman has a seizure. However, the woman admits she slept with Thirteen so she could get to House and have him diagnose her condition. Meanwhile, House continues to pay Lucas to spy on Wilson.

- - - - - - - - - -

I. Cuddy finds Thirteen in Exam Room Two AKA H/C's Sex Romp Room (Cuddy only)

[Thirteen is in a clinic exam room, hooked up to an IV drip. Someone attempts to unlock the door.]

Thirteen: Exam going on, 15 minutes!

[Thirteen jumps up as Cuddy opens the door.]

Cuddy: Good morning, Dr. Hadley.

- - - - - - - - - -

II. Prelude to an actual spanking?

[Cuddy's office: House walks in, Cuddy and Thirteen are waiting.]

Cuddy: I found her in the clinic, giving herself IV fluids.

House: At least you could've let her finish. She looks terrible.

Cuddy: She has a fresh nightclub stamp on her wrist. She's in no condition to practice.

House: Unless this is a prelude to an actual spanking, there's no reason for me to be--

Cuddy: I want her to take a drug test.

Thirteen: You can't make me do that.

Cuddy: But I can suspend you until you do.

House: Because she went to a nightclub in her free time? Or because she had sex in her free time? Patient was undergoing a routine surgery for RTA. Didn't need Thirteen here for that. And I don't need you making my employees punch a clock or pee in a cup. [Motions to Thirteen] Let's go. Come on.

[The leave Cuddy's office.]

Thirteen: Thank you.

House: By the way, the surgery was not routine, patient stopped breathing, and you missed a differential. You're fired.

Thirteen: What? You just defended me.

House: No, I just prevented you from getting a drug test. Probably saved your career. I'm already taking responsibility for one doctor with a drug habit.

Thirteen: I don't have a drug habit.

House: The slutty party girl is fun, until she pukes on your shoes. Then she's just a pain in the ass.

- - - - - - - - - -

III. Why did Wilson eat the donut? (House only)

[We join this House/Wilson scene already in progress. House has discovered Wilson lied about his white knighting the prostitute, but the question of why he ate the donut remains unanswered.]

House: So, seriously. Where were you the other morning?

Wilson: Ugh, don't make me do this again. It has nothing to do with you.

House: Then tell me.

Wilson: We're going bowling on Monday. I'm coming over to play poker this weekend. Nothing's changed. You have to trust that.

House: Okay.

Wilson: [About to leave, he stops and turns back towards House and sighs] You're gonna keep following me, aren't you?

House: It's what we do.

Wilson: Be outside my apartment at 8:00 tonight.

- - - - - - - - - -

IV. Best nipples in Princeton!

[We see Wilson enter a baby store, looking for someone. He spots Cuddy standing by a crib. She smiles, he walks over to join her.]

Cuddy: What do you think?

[The store bell rings and House enters. He sees the two of them and feigns shock.]

House: Oh, my god! You guys shop here, too? Best nipples in Princeton!

Cuddy: [does not look thrilled.] Why are you here?

House: Because he ate the donut.

Wilson: I'm so sorry. He must've followed me.

Cuddy: [unconvinced] I'm sure.

House: Well, you're clearly not pregnant, so either you're buying this as a gift, or this is some kind of weird "if you build it, they will come" moment.

Cuddy: I'm adopting a baby. [Her expression finally shifts from slightly annoyed to happy.]

Wilson: [Off-screen, as we watch House's eyes shift back and forth from Cuddy to Wilson, his face falling by the second.] She asked me to be a character reference. That's where I was the other morning. [Wilson motions toward Cuddy] I'm sorry, I couldn't betray her confidence.

Cuddy: [House is still in disbelief] I didn't want anyone else to know, in case I didn't get approved. [She looks at Wilson, then back at House] Today I did. [She's now beaming.]

[Wilson smiles at Cuddy, then looks back at House and sees his reaction, his expression softens a little. House and his jaw are still separated. Wilson looks at him a bit questioningly. House swallows hard.]

Cuddy: Are you gonna congratulate me?

House: If you're happy, I'm...

[He puts his sunglasses back on and leaves Wilson and Cuddy.]



( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
Nov. 10th, 2008 03:23 am (UTC)

Question: er... what happened to 5x03? just wondering.
Nov. 10th, 2008 03:26 am (UTC)

I skipped over 5x03, because I really wanted to catch up, and whereas the few scenes in 5x02, 5x04, and 5x05 made it easy to do so quickly, I feel like I have to pay closer attention to 5x03. There wasn't a ton of House/Cuddy DIRECTLY, but there was so much subtext. And ellixian and I decided we're definitely going to picspam Cuddy's scenes, even if there's no House. Because we are incredibly and unquestioningly gay for Cuddy AND Lisa E.
Nov. 10th, 2008 03:32 am (UTC)
Excellent, thank you. I figured you guys would pay closer attention and picspam the hell out of the Cuddy AND LUCAS HEE scenes in that ep.

btw, YOU ARE FRICKIN' AMAZING. Just thought you should know.
Nov. 10th, 2008 03:43 am (UTC)
I almost feel like I'm still missing things in that episode. There was SO much going on. And doing it in hindsight, with knowing how 5x05 and 5x06 went down -- I think that'll make it even more difficult.

THANK YOU! I had these started and everything, I just had to get up off my ass and get the snarky comments done and posted.

"Joy" is going to slay me. My head might explode several times. Dude. That one might have to be a two-parter, come to think of it!
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )