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PICSPAM: 5x05 Lucky Thirteen

Writers: Sara Hess & Liz Friedman
Director: Greg Yaitanes
Original Airdate: Oct. 21, 2008

Thirteen brings her one-night stand to the hospital after the woman has a seizure. However, the woman admits she slept with Thirteen so she could get to House and have him diagnose her condition. Meanwhile, House continues to pay Lucas to spy on Wilson.

I. Cuddy finds Thirteen in Exam Room Two AKA H/C's Sex Romp Room (Cuddy only)

[Thirteen is in a clinic exam room, hooked up to an IV drip. Someone attempts to unlock the door.]

Thirteen: Exam going on, 15 minutes!

[Thirteen jumps up as Cuddy opens the door.]

Cuddy: Good morning, Dr. Hadley. Cuddy clearly cannot mask her disappointment in not finding House naked and sprawled out on the exam table.

- - - - - - - - - -

II. Prelude to an actual spanking?

[Cuddy's office: House walks in, Cuddy and Thirteen are waiting. I don't really have a whole lot to say on this scene. Not my favorite.]

Cuddy: I found her in the clinic, giving herself IV fluids.

House: At least you could've let her finish. She looks terrible.

Cuddy: She has a fresh nightclub stamp on her wrist. She's in no condition to practice.

House: Unless this is a prelude to an actual spanking, there's no reason for me to be--

Cuddy: I want her to take a drug test.

Thirteen: You can't make me do that.

Cuddy: But I can suspend you until you do.

House: Because she went to a nightclub in her free time? Or because she had sex in her free time? God knows House doesn't allow CUDDY to pursue such interests in her limited free time.

House: Patient was undergoing a routine surgery for RTA. Didn't need Thirteen here for that. And I don't need you making my employees punch a clock or pee in a cup. [Motions to Thirteen] Let's go. Come on.

[The leave Cuddy's office. Seriously. No love from me on this one. Well, it WAS nice of them to give Cuddy an extra minute or two of screen time.]

Thirteen: Thank you.

House: By the way, the surgery was not routine, patient stopped breathing, and you missed a differential. You're fired.

Thirteen: What? You just defended me.

House: No, I just prevented you from getting a drug test. Probably saved your career. I'm already taking responsibility for one doctor with a drug habit.

Thirteen: I don't have a drug habit.

House: The slutty party girl is fun, until she pukes on your shoes. Then she's just a pain in the ass.

- - - - - - - - - -

III. Why did Wilson eat the donut? (House only)

[We join this House/Wilson scene already in progress. House has discovered Wilson lied about his white knighting the prostitute, but the question of why he ate the donut remains unanswered.]

House: So, seriously. Where were you the other morning?

Wilson: Ugh, don't make me do this again. It has nothing to do with you.

House: Then tell me.

Wilson: We're going bowling on Monday. I'm coming over to play poker this weekend. Nothing's changed. You have to trust that.

House: Okay.

Wilson: [About to leave, he stops and turns back towards House and sighs] You're gonna keep following me, aren't you?

House: It's what we do.

Wilson: Be outside my apartment at 8:00 tonight. Sometimes I really do love it when Wilson meddles.

- - - - - - - - - -

IV. Best nipples in Princeton!

[We see Wilson enter a baby store, looking for someone. He spots Cuddy standing by a crib. She smiles, he walks over to join her. My brain explodes!]

Cuddy: What do you think?

[The store bell rings and House enters. He sees the two of them and feigns shock.]

House: Oh, my god! You guys shop here, too? Best nipples in Princeton!

Cuddy: [does not look thrilled.] Why are you here?

House: Because he ate the donut.

Wilson: I'm so sorry. He must've followed me.

Cuddy: [unconvinced] I'm sure. It's no wonder Wilson's divorced three times, if that's his poker face.

House: Well, you're clearly not pregnant, so either you're buying this as a gift, or this is some kind of weird "if you build it, they will come" moment.

Cuddy: I'm adopting a baby. [Her expression finally shifts from slightly annoyed to happy. They didn't have me for the disciplinary!Cuddy scene, but, oh. They have redeemed themselves so. very. much. Finally, something that offers a bit of closure on the "Finding Judas" scene! No confrontation between House and Cuddy, but House doesn't even know he's lost some of Cuddy's trust, and his punishment is zero involvement in such a personal thing. It really has NOTHING TO DO WITH HOUSE.]

Wilson: [Off-screen, as we watch House's eyes shift back and forth from Cuddy to Wilson, his face falling by the second. HUGH, WHY YOU SO AMAZING?] She asked me to be a character reference. That's where I was the other morning.

Wilson: [motions toward Cuddy] I'm sorry, I couldn't betray her confidence.

Cuddy: [House is still in disbelief] I didn't want anyone else to know, in case I didn't get approved.

Cuddy: [She looks at Wilson, then back at House] Today I did. [She's now beaming.]

[Wilson smiles at Cuddy, then looks back at House and sees his reaction, his expression softens a little. House and his jaw are still separated. Wilson looks at him a bit questioningly. House swallows hard. Blindsided -> stunned disbelief -> crushed -> don't cry in front of Wilson AND Cuddy]

Cuddy: Are you gonna congratulate me?

House: If you're happy, I'm...

[He puts his sunglasses back on and leaves Wilson and Cuddy.]

This concludes my productive and/or spammy kick for this evening! 5x03 is indeed missing, and I'll catch up with that soon, hopefully!


Nov. 10th, 2008 03:37 pm (UTC)
FLOORED and WHUT, YES. Getting to see House find out the way we did... awesome. Thank you, writers!

I think Cuddy might've been happy to wait until the last minute possible to tell House. He's able to get to her like no one else can, and maybe she thought he wouldn't be supportive (or Cuddy knew she was unsure and could expect House to pick up on that and needle her about it). What I found really interesting is that House didn't know about it even though he had the PI looking into everyone's (non)business and following Wilson around. He was looking for something on Cuddy -- maybe Lucas isn't that good? ;)

I don't know. No Emmy for Hugh and no nominations (at least) for LE and RSL, NOT. COOL.
Nov. 10th, 2008 11:26 pm (UTC)
Yeah! Lucas! I mentioned that in one of my little reviews I think. How did Lucas not find out? Maybe he wasn't as good as everyone though, but I still found it interesting that there was no mention whatsoever of this adoption beforehand. You would think Lucas would've said something vague. I dunno.