?

Log in

No account? Create an account

Previous Entry | Next Entry

PICSPAM: 5x04 Birthmarks

5x04 - BIRTHMARKS
Writers: David Foster & Doris Egan
Director: David Platt
Original Airdate: Oct. 14, 2008



While en route to his father's funeral, House must help the team with a differential diagnosis on a young Chinese girl who has collapsed under mysterious circumstances.

I. The Reverse "Who's Your Daddy"

[Cuddy enters House's office]


Cuddy: Sorry about your father.



House: I'm not. Are we done emoting now?


Cuddy: If there's anything I can do, just--


House: You know, you're right. I don't think I can sleep alone tonight. Shades of "Half-Wit," anyone?


[Cuddy pulls a syringe out of her labcoat and walks toward House. OMG, HOUSE IS DOING IVF!]


House: You can tell me that's liquid vicodin.


Cuddy: We're giving Ig shots to everyone who came in in contact with your patient. I LOVE this week's POTW. Thank you for not having any manners, SARS!patient!


Cuddy: Shockingly, none of the nurses volunteered to administer yours.


[House starts to roll up his shirt sleeve. BUT, we're cheated out of a "which way to the GUN show" line from House. I hope they can make it up to us somehow!]


Cuddy: Goes better in a large muscle. ILU (MOAR), CUDDY. And House, you are more adorable than any misanthropic, egotistical jackass has any right to be, but, oddly, it's all part of your charm. Or my own psychopathology. It's all very unclear.


Cuddy: Drop your pants. We seriously need to compile a list of House/Cuddy quotes that, when taken completely out of context, are full of epic dirtiness and (perhaps) misunderstanding. I'll start: 1) "Oh, I LOVE Greg." 2) "I want YOUR ASS, IN MY OFFICE."


House: You know, I usually pay tens of dollars to hear that. CUDDY'S REACTION, I AM DEAD.


[House unzips his pants and leans on his desk. Cuddy smiles and pulls them down a bit (but not nearly enough for the fangirls), and gives him the shot. Gleefully, I might add. PREPARE FOR MASSIVE CHEATING. LIKE MORE THAN EVER. BUT THAT WHICH WILL BE PUT TO SHAME WHEN I GET TO THE "JOY" PICSPAM. READY? CHEATING. RIGHT. NOW.]





Cuddy: Funeral's tomorrow. House's ass makes me ponder death, too.


House: [turns back towards Cuddy] My mom called you? I LOVE THAT HOUSE BELIEVES THIS TO BE TRUE.


Cuddy: There is a 3:40 flight out of Newark. If you leave now, you can be in Lexington tonight.



[Cuddy sighs. And this cap is here for no other reason than its complete and utter SEXFACE quality.]


Cuddy: Your mother wants you to deliver a eulogy.


House: "Eulogy," from the Greek for "good word."


House: Now, if she asked me to deliver a bastardogy, I'd be happy to--


Cuddy: Then be a grown-up. Cuddy's such a buzzkill. Um, you know, of buzzes that surround parental death.



Cuddy: Call your mother back, and tell her that you're sick with grief, but you're too busy to be there. I imagine in this conversation, Cuddy would be the blame, and there would be a bondage reference (or two) thrown in, so House can throw suggestive glances in Cuddy's direction. This would shorten the episode quite a bit -- AND cost us some lovely House/Wilson moments -- so the only course of action would be... the PPTH ORGY. Fellows would stay where they belong initially -- on the sidelines, while House, Cuddy, and Wilson show them how things are done around here.


House: She knows when I'm lying.


Cuddy: Then start writing.


[Cuddy leaves]


- - - - - - - - - -

I.5. Wait for it...


[House's office: House stands up, stumbles and collapses on the floor.]


[CUT: We see House in a car, opening his eyes, disoriented. He turns to his left and sees Wilson driving.]


Wilson: I am not doing this because I care. [House smiles]

[CUT: House and Wilson are on the road.]


House: Cuddy drugged me. [House starts to put the pieces together. Mm, Wilson/Cuddy duplicity, how we've... kind of missed you. I applaud any efforts that separate House from his pants, really. I want them to remain apart WAY more than I do House/Cameron.]

Comments

crumpled_up
Nov. 10th, 2008 02:28 am (UTC)
ROFL. YESSS. CUDDY LOOKED MORE THAN HAPPY TO SHOVE A NEEDLE INTO HOUSE'S BUTT. EXCITING. NOT NEARLY AS EPIC AS THEY COULD'VE MADE IT SINCE THE PANTS WERE NOWHERE NEAR AS LOW AS THEY SHOULD'VE BEEN BUT HEY, REVENGE IS SWEET. ;)

AND I JUST WANNA TAKE A MOMENT TO FLAIL ABOUT HOUSE'S HAIR. BECAUSE IT IS SO FANTASTIC THIS SEASON. I'M SO HAPPY IT'S BEING KEPT SHORT. BECAUSE THIS IS HOW IT SHOULD'VE BEEN SINCE THE BEGINNING. LIKE THIS. IT IS HOT. HIS HAIR IS ITS OWN CHARACTER. JUST LIKE CUDDY'S BOOBS. AND HOUSE'S CANE. HELL, EVEN WILSON'S HAIR HAS A MIND OF IT'S OWN SOME TIMES. :P

Another quote: "Need you. Now." God, that's hot.

Yay for Wilson and Cuddy teaming up again! I just wish we got to see more of it in action. Like seeing Cuddy and Wilson drag House's body into the car in a not-so-gentle manner. Aww. And that orgy? All for it.
u_fisch
Nov. 10th, 2008 02:34 am (UTC)
I totally agree with you. House's hair is absolute fabulous this season!
jukebox_grad
Nov. 10th, 2008 02:43 am (UTC)
WE WANT FAIR TREATMENT. HOUSE SHOULD HAVE BEEN WEARING A KILT. THERE SHOULD'VE BEEN MORE REGARD FOR MICROBES. I HEREBY REQUEST THAT CUDDY STOP BY HOUSE'S OFFICE ONCE A WEEK FOR "IG SHOTS."

BUT THE ZIPPER, BELT BUCKLE CLANGING, AND THE WAY YOU CAN HEAR CUDDY YANKING HIS PANTS DOWN. THAT'S HOW YOU MAKE US FLAIL EVEN IF WE ONLY HAVE ONE H/C SCENE.

HOUSE'S BALL, CHASE'S UGLY SHIRTS AND TIES, AND WILSON'S GAZILLION PENS... THE LIST GOES ON AND ON. I AGREE WITH THE SHORT HAIR VERY MUCH. I DO ENJOY THE CURLS FROM S1, BUT THIS STYLE SUITS THE CHARACTER MUCH BETTER. AND WILL NOT LEAD TO AS MANY UNCOMFORTABLE HAIRPIECE SHOTS, I HOPE (BASICALLY, WHENEVER HOUSE WOULD TAKE A HAT OFF).

YES, YES. NEEEEEEEED.

Deleted scenes? (I'll take the dragging of House's body AND the orgy as deleted scenes/EPISODE. Add these to my list of things for the s5 DVDs, joining the alternate take of the kiss and Hugh's and Lisa's interview on it, and the GENIUS hilarity of the RSL/LE cracktastic video.) I'd like to see who came up with it. It could be either, really. They both have a history of either drugging House without his knowledge or just doing a bait and switch.
crumpled_up
Nov. 10th, 2008 03:11 am (UTC)
I'LL JOIN YOU ON THE CAMPAIGN OF "WEEKLY IG SHOTS: BECAUSE EVERY MISANTHROPIC DOCTOR NEEDS ONE!"

LOL YES THE CLANGING BELT. THAT MADE SMILE. AND IN THE S4 FINALE WHEN CUDDY IS AT HIS PLACE AND HE ZIPS UP HIS FLY IN FRONT OF HER? WIN.

CHASE'S HAIR CAN GO ON THE LIST TOO. AND OMG CAMERON'S HAIR. AND WILSON'S SUPERMAN STANCE. HAHAHA OMG.

LOL OH GOD. THE HAIRPIECE SHOTS. SHORT HAIR IS SO MUCH BETTER. I'VE BEEN DYING FOR SHORT HAIR SO WHEN THE PROMO STUFF CAME OUT FOR S5 I WAS LIKE YESSS FINALLY AFTER FIVE YEARS THEY GET IT RIGHT.

Deleted scenes! Yes. AAALLLLLL FOR IT. OMG. I'm all for as many alternate takes of that kiss scene possible. ;) And omg, the RSL/LE interview cracks me up every single time I watch it. THEY ARE HILARIOUS. TOO BAD HL WASN'T IN ON IT TOO. I vote Wilson came up with the plan and Cuddy just found the perfect excuse to give him a shot (and pull down his pants because who WOULDN'T want to ;)).
jukebox_grad
Nov. 10th, 2008 03:41 am (UTC)
MISANTHROPIC DOCTORS, IN PARTICULAR, NEED TO BE UP TO DATE ON THEIR SHOTS. FACT.

I LOVED THE RANDOM WTFNESS OF THE ZIPPING OF HIS FLY IN THE FINALE. AND CUDDY'S REACTION. WAS IT EVEN SCRIPTED? IT WAS SO RANDOM, LOL.

EVERYTIME I SEE SOMEONE ON THIS SHOW DOING THE SUPERMAN STANCE, I FIGURE THEY'RE DOING THEIR WILSON IMPRESSION.

THERE ARE TWO PIECE SHOTS THAT I FOUND FAIRLY TRAUMATIC. HOUSE REMOVING HIS BASEBALL CAP IN A S3 EP, AND WHEN HE PULLED HIS SCRUB/DO-RAG IN THE BUNSON BURNER SURVIVOR SPOOF IN S4.

When I KNOW there are deleted scenes, I wanna fucking SEE THEM ON THE DVD. They seriously dropped the ball on the s4 DVDs -- teasing us with awesome sounding extras, then changing them, WHILE STILL CHARGING JUST AS MUCH AS PAST SETS FOR THE SHORTENED SEASON. You need to redeem yourselves, people! The RSL/LE vid is edited to perfection... I need to make people around me watch it. I don't know if they'll find it as hilarious as I do, but damn. That and the alternate cut of the kiss I just HAVE to watch whenever I go to the FOX site.

Yeah, come to think of it, it would've had to have been Cuddy thinking on her toes. Wilson most likely would not have known about SARS!patient. Oh, to imagine a follow-up scene between House and Cuddy, with him calling her out on her plan. It plays like their last scene in "Paternity" in my head!
crumpled_up
Nov. 10th, 2008 03:51 am (UTC)
LOL WILSON IMPRESSION!

DUDE. I WAS SO PISSED WHEN THERE WEREN'T DELETED SCENES ON THE S4 DVDS. It's like the only thing I look forward to haha and then they didn't have it! *ANGRY FACE* I'm hoping the extras will be so much better than in the past. Preferably commentaries by the actors not just limited to DS and KJ. It's always funnier when the actors make fun of themselves or the others and tell inside jokes. So much love. That's what I always loved with my Alias dvds.

Paternity. Oh man. How I wish a version of that scene happened at the end of this ep. I just love to see House splutter and Cuddy look all smug that the one-upped him. Ooooh I love the smell of victory.
jukebox_grad
Nov. 10th, 2008 04:02 am (UTC)
AND BLOOPERS! But deleted scenes... we knew they'd filmed a lot more of the striptease (and I'm not gay enough yet). They teased us with cast commentaries. I love how the Alias DVDs actually have VIDEO commentaries. And the full cast... that can be a bit much. But a Hugh/Lisa or H/RSL or H/L/RSL would've been good fun. The featurettes were at least decent. I was hoping we'd get something like the s3 feature on "The Jerk" for the finale. The finale BEGGED for a lot more attention in extras than we got. :/

I ALWAYS want H/C closure scenes, lol. "Finding Judas" most of all -- and we FINALLY got SOME resolution on that (if not intentional, we can certainly fanwank it with ease). In s4, I wanted a follow-up to the thong stealing (which I hated, much as I love Cuddy's thongs and all). I'm pretty sure I remember ellixian writing a post-ep for that one. *sigh* Missed opportunities!